Tuesday, January 31, 2006

100 Things about me:

1. This was inspired by Sandy's blog. (www.sandymom.blogspot.com) I would link you if I knew how!

2. I will be 34 on Friday and I still love birthdays. I am pretty sure I always will. I love getting older, it beats the alternative.

3. My husband is 40 and is only 6 years older than me for a few months. (Talk about robbing the cradle Summer!)

4. I have three lovely daughters aged 9, 8, and 4 until summer when they all get a year older. (June, July, and August-I think that means my husband and I like each other more in the fall. LOL)

5. I did not secretly wish for a boy. I secretly prayed for all girls and that over-rode Erik's secret wishes for boys. I don't feel guilty about it. Maybe a little.

6. I homeschool my children and I love it. I don't feel weird or crazy until people look at me like I am. I secretly think people who don't homeschool are the weird and crazy ones but I love them anyway.

7. I sell Pampered Chef. I like it but I am not very ambitious. It drives my director crazy that I don't work more or earn stuff, but I like my pace. It fits my lifestyle. One day I will work more. When Erik retires and I have to get away.

8. I love to cook but I am very challenged with making three squares a day. It is a little unfulfilling and yet filling...LOL.

9. I love politics and dream of one day becoming a politician. I have always loved government and have almost always disliked politicians, especially ones with the last name Kennedy. They have grown it into a profession and it was just supposed to be representative. I think our founding fathers were geniuses and we are really making them look bad.

10. My husband hates politics, but since he married me, he always votes. I think we cancel each other out. He is a union man.

11. I am the youngest of 4 daughters. My dad was the youngest of six children and my mom is the middle child of a blended family.

12. I only wear lipstick and eyeliner. I hate the way make-up feels on my face. I also hate hair styling products. I like my hair to be soft and brushable, not stiff and unbrushable.

13. I do not like to get dressed up. I think we would all be happier if we just went around in life in loungewear(by that I mean fleece pants and loose fitting t-shirts, not polyester leisure suits). I gave up high heels 10 years ago and I don't miss them. My husband might.

14. My family owns a boat and we love it. It takes me several minutes of prayer before I can jump off the boat into the water. (And yes, always wearing a life-jacket)

15. My fear of water comes from my sister pushing me into a pool on the deep end to prove I could too swim. I couldn't. My cousin Jeff swam to the bottom and saved me. Thanks Jeff!! He is a doctor now. He was in med school then so I don't think I had anything to do with it.
(I have completely forgiven you, Linda)I eventually became a pretty good swimmer.

16. I am afraid of heights and I don't know why. I don't think my sister has anything to do with it. It is magnified x ten when my kids are up high with me.

17. I graduated #12 of 242 in high school(I think). I was vice president of the FFA and I don't appreciate the image Napolean Dynamite gave my most favorite club. I was in it all four years and it is one of the best preps for life, meeting organization, sales, and public speaking I ever got. I was also in Beta, Industrial Arts Club (LOL), G C Pride(a drug and alcohol free club), a journalism student for the newspaper and I am sure there were more.

18. High School did not prepare me for life in any way. (Except for FFA)

19. My best friend in high school was a guy. We were inseparable. I still think he is a great guy. We lost contact after I had children.

20. I never wanted to get married or have children. I thought it was insanity. When I met Erik, I knew I wanted to get married and have his children. Go figure. He restored my faith in the male species. People I went to school with are shocked that I am not a journalist traveling the world.

21. I wrote for my school newspaper all four years. I wrote about the evils of placing too much importance on sports and not enough on academics. My high school had the largest gym in the whole region. And the smallest number of books in the library. Alot of books were purchased after I wrote that story.

22. I also wrote for the PCC newspaper. I took a class on being a DJ too and got to do 1 hour of broadcasting over PCC radio. I played all Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. I still like them both alot.

23. I love Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly. Of the 3 though, Bill O'Reilly is my favorite. I think he is the smartest man in the whole world.

24. I have always valued morals and intellect over looks.

25. I became a Christian at age 11. I was rebaptized a few years ago because I thought I left Jesus standing at the altar on our "wedding" day. It is much easier for me now. Only a few people understand what I mean when I write that, but it is OK.

26. I regret not finishing college.

27. I regret not parasailing before I had children.

28. I have very few other regrets, even though my mistakes are too numerous to mention. Without my mistakes I would be a big old christian snob.

29. There are very few mistakes I have not made. I can always serve as a bad example...LOL. I actually wore a pin that said that in high school. I also had one that said "If you don't have anything nice to say, come and sit by me" Gossip is still one of my big struggles. I hate writing that.

30. I love reading and writing blogs. I once said I could never write anything without pencil and paper because I was a true writer. I was wrong. I love typing words. I love words in any form.

31. I wrote poetry all through my teen years. When I read them now, I realize I was very angry with my station in life. And confused.

32. I like who I am.

33. I don't like how much I weigh. I hope I can really change it this time. I don't see myself as fat as I am. I see myself the size I was in high school. I am shocked when I see pictures of myself. I think that is called denial and it runs deep!!

34. I pray that none of my children will struggle with their weight.

35. I hope my children don't do all the things I have done. If they do, I hope I can help them out.

36. My mom and Dad divorced when I was three. I have no memories of my Dad other than his obligatory Sunday afternoon visit.

37. After my parents divorce, we were incredibly poor. No food to eat poor. No clothes to wear poor. I don't know how my mom made it those few years on her minimum wage job with 4 children. My Dad paid her $20 per week per child($80). When he was laid off, it was only $10 a week($40). My Dad always volunteered to be laid off to lower his child support. I hate that he is proud of that. I really struggle with honoring my father. My children can't tell I struggle with it. They love their Pa and their Dad. Breaking the cycle...

38. My grandfather (Dad's Dad) could not stand it that my father did not provide for his family and did everything he could to help my mom. My mom got her in-laws in the divorce.

39. My mom remarried when I was in the first grade and they went to Aurora for their honeymoon. I still think that is cool.

40. My stepfather treated us better than his own children. (He had 9 that were grown before we entered the picture) My stepfather is 20 years older than my mom. He is REALLY old now!!

41. I grew up on the outer corner of a cornfield in the middle of the coutry and I loved it. I rode my bike everywhere and played with my sister Linda all the time. Pam and Sue Ann were older than me and did NOT think their baby sister was very cool. Now of course, they know better ROTFL!! Not really.

42. My sisters are my favorite people now that I am grown, just like Mom said they would be. We look nothing alike, just like my girls look nothing alike.

43. I have always been a little jealous of those families that all look alike.

44. I am not sure I can think of 100 things.

45. I love to read.

46. My all time favorite book is Rich Man, Poor Man. It is not very wholesome but it is a redemptive story, sort of. I also love the whole Clan of the Cave Bear series (I hated the movie!!)

47. I think all movies should be rated G or PG. My favorite movie of all time is Terms of Endearment. It makes me cry like a baby.

48. I don't have a favorite actress or actor. I like some of their movies, but their lives for the most part are a WRECK!! Tom Hanks seems really nice and I like his movies. Kelly Preston and John Travolta seem really cool too.

49. I really like Oprah. I am praying that she and Stedman will get married.

50. I also like Dr. Phil. I don't agree with everything he says, but I like his no nonsense approach. I also like that he favors working it out over divorce.

51. I am a very conservative republican. I think everyone should be. I love small government and hate paying taxes.

52. I think welfare is corrupt and should be eliminated.

53. I think most politicians are corrupt and should be elimin...voted out of office.

54. The Clintons are the worst thing that ever happened to this country.

55. I think women voted for Clinton because they thought he was cute.

56. True confession: I voted for Clinton the first time because I thought he was young, hip, in touch, and a little bit cute.

57. I can't take it back!!!

58. Once upon a time in high school I was a liberal democrat. I am so ashamed.

59. If people had to cash their checks and then go somewhere and give that cash over to pay their taxes instead of it automatically coming out of their checks, there would be more conservatives!! There would be TAX REFORM!!!

60. I am livid everytime anyone in Congress gets a raise!!!!

61. I don't really like postal jokes. (My husband is a hard working mail carrier) The post office has a higher rate of successful transactions than any other company in the world, but you only hear the bad stuff!

62. The post office is the third largest employer second to Walmart and some oil company in China. Unlike either of those jobs, the post office is a really good job with really good benefits and VERY FEW part-time employees.

63. It is hard to write 100 things about yourself.

64. I think Karen Carpenter was the greatest singer in the world, not Celine Dion.

65. My kids recognize Elvis Presley when he comes on the radio. They know he was "the king" thanks to my husband.

66. My husband is a drummer for Lew Jetton and 61 South. I am very proud of him for that. I had no clue he was a musician when we met and I was very upset about it until the last 4-5 years.

67. I was pulled over 13 times from the ages of 16-21. Despite having a lead foot, I never got a ticket until I was 22 and engaged. I did not flirt, well maybe a little. I hope I never get another one. I try really hard to never speed.

68. I am perpetually late. IT is not on purpose. I just can't get it together sometimes. I really love being early. My children hate to be late but not nearly as much as my husband. We used to stay home from things because he could not stand being late. He has really chilled out alot. Me too.

69. This is my husband's favorite number. Too much information!!

70. I love a made bed. I sleep better when the sheets and blankets are all tucked in. Sometimes I make my bed before I get in it to go to sleep. WEIRD I Know!

71. I have never been to Disney, but I will go for the first time with my children at the end of Feb.

72. I love vacations more than anything.

73. I also love to camp.

74. I like a yard, not a lawn. We have a yard, not a lawn.

75. I am really not nice, it takes lots of prayer and submission to God to be that way.

76. I love to make fun of people and it comes out sometimes. I think this is an awful cahracter flaw and I work on it constantly.

77. I will never make it to 100 without sharing the darkest secrets of my soul...

78. I lost my virginity ....just kidding. I still have it...just kidding.

79. I am very modest and I think everyone should be. I hate low rise jeans and all the butt-cracks they reveal.

80. Sweats are the best thing since sliced white bread.

81. Summer fashions make me cringe.

82. There is no such thing as a decent bathing suit. REALLY!! Throwing a tshirt over it does not help. In some ways it is a little worse.

83. I am thankful forever for Jesus. Becoming a child of God is the best thing I ever did.

84. Becoming a wife and mom is the second best.

85. I planned to wait five years between getting married and having children. God decided two was plenty and over-rode my birth control pills.

86. Erika was three months old when I found out I was pregnant with Kayla. The ladies in the Dr.'s office asked if I was ok and if I needed to call anyone.

87. My mother-in-law came over every morning and helped me for two weeks after Kayla was born. She knew when not to come anymore without me telling her. I will always love her for both of those things.

88. I do not remember the baby hood of Erika or Kayla. It was too crazy. I did not realize how much I had forgotten until God over-rode my birth control again and we had Lilly.

89. Two children in a row will make you crazy for at least one year and borderline for the rest of your life. I can't even imagine what three in a row would be like...or 4 in a row...or five in a row. I have friends who have done all of those and they seem really normal.

90. Lynn Nagel saved my life when she paid for me to go to supermoms bible study. I had neither the money or the interest to do it. It changed my life for the better forever.

91. My husband loves me best when I am in a bible study because I am convicted the whole study
and frequently apologize.

92. I have a love/hate relationship with conviction... nothing more painful or glorious than to realize my mistakes.

93. I am convicted nearly every day. I hate writing that.

94. My favorite car is a 69 Camaro. So cliche!!

95. I hate Impalas...I am so sorry Erik but it is true.

96. My favorite color is red.

97. I really like Sex in the City, Grey's Anatomy, and Medium. I wish there was a Christian alternative to each of them. It isn't the soap opera sex I enjoy, but the story lines. I wish there was no nudity or sex on TV, EVER.

98. I hope I am not ruining my children. I pray they turn out ok despite their flawed parents.

99. I love babies right after a bath. I don't have baby fever, I am glad to close that chapter in my life. I think grandbabies will be fun if I don't have to raise them.

100. I love life. I can't wait for heaven though!

Monday, January 30, 2006

I guess I am really weird, but I LIKE Mondays. I like the newness of the week. This week I will... It is kind of like the beginning of a new year in smaller more bite-sized pieces. I am also worn out from the weekend and ready to get back to routine. I think my kids like Mondays too, so I am perpetuating the weird in future generations.

I am doing a couple of loads of laundry today. My sock basket has tons of mismatched socks in it. The mates are lost. Today I implemented a sock hunt. I gave each girl a bag and told them to find as many socks as possible. Hampers and drawers off limits, of course. For 40 cents (5 cents per sock and it had to be someone else's-they did not know that rule up front HAHA!!) I got all socks gathered from under beds, behind the couch, in closets. 2 socks were free because of the sneaky rule-but I think Erika had slipped her socks off so it had to be done. We may sock hunt again and I will throw away all unmated socks today.

I have really been enjoying my children lately. We spent all afternoon yesterday playing/working in the yard. It was the most perfect weather!! One of the guys Erik works with was going to take his old mower to the dump but Erik had him bring it to us instead. It is much newer than ours and runs great. People amaze me-some people throw away very good stuff. Erik and I each had a mower going to mulch leaves and catalpa tree pods(UGH! I hate that tree!) We then turned off the blades and rode the girls around and let them steer. They had a ball. We did too. Then we went for an extensive hike in our woods. It was great. I love having our own woods. I don't always love our fifty year old house, but I always love where it sits!!

Grand finale was singing emphasis at church. I was all excited to sing with all my heart but ended up only knowing a song or two and not either one very well. I apologized to God and sort of zoned out-I actually wrote blogs in my head(I MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM)but can't remember any of them. I get a little frustrated with our songs sometimes. Since I don't read music, it doesn't help to have it in front of me. C of C is very musically educated. I am not at all!! LOL. It was still a good service and we enjoyed the fellowship meal after. We helped set up and clean up. Generally, I just do clean up, but when we arrived at 5:45 the room was not set up so Lilly and I (!) started moving tables, she is strong!! Soon lots of people had joined us and it only took a few minutes to have it ready to go. I love our church!!

Cleanup was fun too, it is usually the same ones of us and I love that fellowship. My girls love to help too. We are training them up to serve with joy.

Girl scouts tonight. The troop voted to scrapbook, should be very interesting!! We are all gonna scrap the same pics from the same events so everyone will have a her own troop scrapbook of things we have done. It will be a good way to save the memories. Some girls will have more things to scrap, because they have been in the troop longer, but I splurged for small scrapbooks that could have pages added!

Cookie forms get turned in tonight as well, so I will be adding up and ordering cookies for the troop tonight. I can't wait (severe sarcasm)! I do hope we have sold alot. I had to hold my own girls back because of our trip being right when cookies come in. We will hit it like gangbusters when we get back!

I am gonna finish that laundry now!! Thanks Summer and Lesli for encouraging me with your own "keeping up with the house" stories. It really encourages me to keep up as well.

Sandy, I loved your blog today!! I tried to comment but it would not let me for some reason.

Friday, January 27, 2006

FUNNY THING!!! I though I was sooooo behind in laundry and I was really sweating it. Had Mt. Washmore returned again?? When we were finally done with our entire day's worth of running yesterday, and everyone was washed, fed and tucked in I started working on laundry. 4 loads later...done. 4 loads would have made a small dent before. I am lovin being caught up!! I have friends coming over tonight and very little prep work to do for it!! Why have I been living in CHAOS(www.flylady.net) for sooo long???

Anyway, life is good. We are uncluttering financially as well and that has its own set of blessings!!

I have lost 6 1/2 pounds...I am resisting the urge to celebrate with a bucket of ice cream and some SUZY Q's.
I am also lifting weights to get rid of my arm flab (I hope).

I am turning 34 in just a few days. WOW, I don't feel that old.

The baptism Wednesday night was great, her husband will be baptized next Wednesday and her 8 year old son is wanting to follow suite!! GOD IS GOOD!! If only we could lean on him before the bottom drops out, but after works out too. We are all to stubborn to rest in his big arms when life is going well!

I have been getting up, bathing, and getting dressed even on the days I really don't want to. I am so much more focused and I accomplish so much more. My kids fight less too. (A little) (That could just be wishful thinking) (Gotta go referee now)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

My husband noticed!!! Last night he said, "The house has really been looking good lately." You could have knocked me over with a feather, not because he noticed but because I was walking on air. It feels so good to work hard at something and have someone NOTICE!! That is one of the reasons I dislike housework, it is undone so quickly that no one noticed. Decluttering has been my answer. Before we had so much stuff, you could not get it put away. Several things had no where to go. So they just stayed out and my house stayed messy. Now that "stuff" is GONE!! This Sunday we will begin Phase II. Getting some much needed home improvements done and making some put-off purchases.

We had an awesome school day today and Lilly managed to eat 6 bites of lunch that she hates. Little victories everywhere. I have gotten up every morning before my children (today was close) and gotten a shower and dressed. One day I even got in some Bible time!!

I think I can say the dark cloud has lifted. I was in a horrible funk, life was rote and routine and I could not stand my life or anything in it. My homeschool support group meeting last month brought me out of it. I think I can safely say someone from that night has been praying for me. I have been praying for me to. I have also been praying for them (it was a small group so it is easy to pray for all of them). I love how faithful God is to give us what we need when we ask him to provide it!! Thank you Jesus for the women you give us in our lives to help us cope!!

I got a phone call from my friend this morning...the one going through difficulties right now. She has made the decision to get baptized!! I am ecstatic. This is such a good thing. She has an entire circle of friends different to mine that this decision will impact. I feel like this is just a drop in the bucket that God can fill with new converts. Hallelujah. I thank God for the tiny little role I have in it. I thank my church for the HUGE role they have had. I feel like I am on the greatest team in the world, you can always find someone to pass the ball to(so to speak). Our church has welcomed this family and nurtured them. It has also inspired me to start think more in Kingdom terms. I have been lost in the Church of ME. What about my needs, where is my clique?, SERVE MY NEEDS! Now I have my eyes open wide thinking, who else God?? Who am I missing that I can invite, encourage and help them get on the path to you. I don't need a clique-I just want to be what you want me to be. I am crying writing that because that has been where my focus has been for so long-fitting in. Maybe not fitting in has made all the difference in his will!! Thank you God for new mercies every day!!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

It happened when I was about 11 years old. My bubble was burst when I, a child who loved to song, was told I was not a good singer. It was devastating. My sister and I had been the Mandrell sisters for years in our imagination. She was Barbara, I was Louise. Now I would have to be Irlene, she never sang but could play the drums. That was no good to me-I had no interest in those (and yet grew up to marry a drummer???) I never got over it. For years I thought I was tone deaf, until my husband told me that, no you can sing do, ra, mi... so that means you are not tone deaf. Then he said "I'm not sure why you can't"...tuned the rest out.

I have had a happy understanding with God since that fateful day that I would still sing, loudly and often IN PRIVATE. Public worship has never been my thing and I have been completely content. I say it all the time! I just asked someone that exact thing on Tuesday night at scrapbooking- "Do you think I am sinning because I dislike worship time at church?" She said of course not. I went on to say I was a private worshipper...it was personal between God and I! God disagreed...he told me so in a scripture. Psalm 35:18. I didn't like this verse. I had been blissfully ignorant of this scripture. It says, "I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among throngs of people I will praise you." It did not happen for me at church Wed. night but it has been on my heart all week. CONVICTION!!!! I was so happy as a move your lips ever so slightly barely make a noise singer. "Public worship just isn't for me, I prefer to worship in private"

Well today was when the rubber met the road. I sang my little offkey heart out and I was amazed. I did not care what anyone thought and got an extra boost out of PUBLIC worship I did not think possible. It was amazing. I hope I don't start crying like I do when it is one of "my" songs and I am alone, but if you look over and see my tear stained face, you'll know there is a "crying among the throngs of people" scripture that God has revealed to me as well. Please don't send me any lifting holy hands scripture just yet...baby steps please. I am a work in progress, thank you Jesus!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Blogging from my new laptop, I am finally trying to learn to use it. I will have more time for it now that I have finally finished Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Down. Those books are phenomenal and I want a prayer group like that. I am still trying to figure out which one is most like me. Does anyone else do that when you read a book? I don't know why I went to italics...I must've hit a button or something.

I don't have much to report... getting a little behind in laundry so I am working on that tonight. I will finish it tonight, scouts honor. I have a Pampered Chef party tomorrow night to get ready for and I am preparing for "SPA NIGHT" for my girl scouts Saturday as well. I did the shopping for it today. We are having smoothies so I had to chop and freeze the fruit pieces. All Done now! Just need to plan the agenda and it will be set. ThePC party is next. Get my things ready so I can walk out the door when Erik gets home. I love my job. It is so cool to make money from getting together with a group of gals and cook-two of my favorite things...oh yeah and talk too. (another fave) I will be using my laptop for the first time as well...I think it will be quite the time-saver.

Gotta go...too much to do, I would love to get to bed before 11 tonight. Hi, I am Janice and I have gotten up, bathed, and dressed before 8am for 3 days. 21 days makes a habit or so they say. I had to fight hard to get up today...went to bed tooo late. I want it to be easier tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Okay, even though it is yucky and raining today, I feel great. It is 7:42 AM and I have been up and dressed for about 20 minutes(shower too). I never do this...I even have laundry going. I actually went to bed between 10 and 10:30 last night. I should do that more often. Usually it is more like 1-1:30AM when I get to bed. Then I drag myself out of bed when I hear the kids, stay in my gown until about 10AM and feel like snot until about 2PM.

Maybe the changes I am making in my diet are helping to. I am eating alot more fruits and veggies. Anyway, I feel good today and I haven't in quite a few days(weeks)(months)! I am still doing well with the whole diet thing, I thought I would lose more quicker, but I am taking it a day at a time. I love weight watchers, cause I can still have a candy bar here and there and not blow it. That is very important if I am to suceed.

Nothing profound to blog today...I finished "Yada Yada Prayer Group" last night and it was wonderful!! It emphasizes praying scripture. Someone else told me this week when you pray scripture it sounds like God to the devil...powerful! I am trying to learn the Psalms enough to do that. Pray that I can get it together in that area of my life as well. I am making positive changes-it is about time.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

What a day!! I am glad it is almost over!! We have food in the house again. We also have almost a hundred boxes of cookies sold and it is only day one...the girls made all the calls and they are doing so well. It is precious to teach them the fine art of telemarketing...don't know what they will do with those skills!! LOL I prefer to think of it as just sales and telephone etiquette.

I am also doing fairly well with dieting. I had gained 3 lbs last meeting, thinking I could just loosely do the Weight Watchers points-that is simply not true. I am doing better now that I am really keeping track. Making better choices too.

One more load of laundry and it is off to bed for me...still keeping up!!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Monday- girl scout meeting AND Pampered Chef sales meeting
Tuesday-Got girl scout cookie info and began sorting and getting them ready for handing out AND homeschool support group meeting
Wednesday-"Losers" meeting AND church
Thursday-Finished distribution of cookie sales flyers AND attended a Cookie Kick-off event with my girls (about 300+ girls running around dancing, singing to the music of a DJ fueled by sugary snacks-they loved it!)
Friday-Cookie sales start AND must go to grocery as there is NOO food in the house!

I feel a little shell-shocked this week. It has been crazy. It is always crazy, but without so much extra crazy stuff. Through this massively busy week though, I have had many friends call or contact me and really reach out to me. I think it is the Lord working on my insecurities. I really do have alot of friends. I am blessed beyond words. I am a sweater of small stuff. I need to stop that!!

I must get some things done and get to the grocery(Lack of food is not small stuff and I am sweating it!!) on this gloomy rainy day. God's blessings to anyone who stumbles across my musings. HE is faithful!!

Hebrews 3:13

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I must apologize for that yellow...I promise not to repeat that color!

I have changed my resolution (can I do that??). I have decided to consciously LIGHTEN UP on myself. I am constantly worrrying about every decision I make-really sweating the small stuff. I set myself up for failure because I just expect to fail ( ie- diets). I second guess almost every decision I make. I worry about being a good parent instead of just enjoying my children. I worry about others NOT thinking I am a good parent. In the end, won't that be decided by my children??? I also really worry about whether or not people like me. I always feel like no one likes me but no one wants to tell me the truth. One of my good friends confided the same paranoia lately (that is what it is). I know I have some friends that love me, they tell me often. Everyone else though, I am always wondering-are they struggling to like me? Am I their "someone they can't stand"? My new philosophy is to just assume everyone likes me unless they tell me otherwise. I have spent many a time wondering, watching and really thinking-Do they like me? Now I will think, can I help it if they don't? No-not if they don't tell me why. Here is your chance...LOL.

Monday, January 09, 2006

I can't blog long tonight...laundry has inched ahead a little and I must beat it!! Still keeping my head above water on kitchen, bathrooms and laundry. Making tiny progress on piles in dining room...have a dining room table again!! Bar is completely lost. Not doing so well on the diet-but not blowing it either...just making some poor choices due to postponing the grocery trip. FOOD GIANT is soooo close to just run out and buy what we need for tonight instead of making the big haul.

Had our new care group(some churches call them life groups) on Sunday-it was nice. The Deekes, Mrs. Darling, The Williams, and us. It will only be three weeks...I could be with this group for years ( : We are looking forward to "speed care grouping" our way through the church. 3 weeks will be nice to "sort of" get to know people we don't know yet. Our church has so many new families, it is overwhelming in a wonderful way.

Girl scouts tonight and then my Pampered Chef sales meeting. They both went well and I was able to sneak over to my friend Libby's and see her new house...which is gorgeous. I am so happy for her. New hubby, new house, and a smile that reaches her eyes. I love it when life is good. If there wasn't bad, we really would not appreciate the good near as much. She also has a new church ) : It is a wonderful church though-emphasis on children and everyone serves!! I was tempted once upon a time to go there as well. I'm glad I toughed it out. Our church is becoming pretty awesome. "Becoming" has been hard to work through, but worth the wait.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

My two oldest girls had their first upward basketball game today! They are on the same team and shockingly enough-they did have a little teamwork!! They passed the ball to each other!! We were so proud. Erika made two points for her team. Kayla is getting her feet wet, while Erika has a year of experience under her tiny belt. The teams are all so funny!! They just don't know exactly what they are doing but they try sooooo hard. It was wonderful. Erik just so happened to have a day off today, so he was able to be there. Lilly was beside herself, laid across both our laps squirming like a worm in hot ashes. So hard to spectate when you are four and really like attention.

I am still keeping up with the laundry, dishes, & bathrooms!! The rest of the house is in shambles...Baby steps!! So hard to clean when there is always a project(usually art!) happening somewhere...Everywhere. I have decided the school room is not working out and it would be better for us to go back to everyone having their own room again instead. Good thing I did not buy all the things I was going to buy!! We have remained at the kitchen table for school. It is just easier to monitor them there. I can do dishes, laundry, cook and still keep an eye out and be available for questions.

We had such great intentions for what we would do today. We laid around and were lazy, sleepin' in , TV watchin' bums untill about noon when we all got showers and prepared for the 2:30 basketball game. I have no regrets. It was kinda nice to have no pressing plans.

The "diet" is going well. I had lost five pounds over the first week. I hope to have dropped another 5 this week. After I lose about 30, I should be able to begin to notice...haha. I had a sensible snickers bar today instead of a king size one or an entire cake. I shared the snickers with a very sweet 4 year old too...she is happy to oblige my personal cutback on sugar!! I am hoping to start some sort of exercise plan for us as well. We could all benefit from some PE every day!! I checked out Ballroom dancing for beginners from the library, but Erik did not seem remotely interested. We do have quite a height difference to overcome. I think it hurts his back and then there is my lack of being able to follow steps.

Tomorrow we start a new class at church, "How To Love Someone You Can't Stand". Even though I have already done this study with our ladies group, I am gonna do it again, because it is great!!!! I am working on both blessing and not cursing, plus decreasing the number of people I can't stand!! LOL!! Just joking...I really do look for the good in everyone...some people just hide it so well....LOL!! I kill me!!

Friday, January 06, 2006

All In A Day's Work

I must say that I am blessed with the best in-laws in the world. It is just phenomenal all the wonderful things they bless us with. I know most people can't stand their in-laws, but mine are great. If she had taught Erik to pick up after himself, they would get 5 stars...instead they have to settle for 4 and 3/4...LOL.

Erik is off today and so we will not attempt school today. I love that flexibility!! It is just to cool and exciting when he is home (and rare). I think I am going back to bed to let him run the show today..haha. I am sure we will find something exciting to occupy our day. I am also blessed with a wonderful husband who not only puts up with me, I think he even loves me. I am completely safe to say whatever I want too-as I have posted before-he is not a reader (of thoughts anyway). He prefers to read about old cars, auctions, old hot wheels, car manuals, etc. He is puzzled by my fascination with blogs and blogging.

I am keeping up with laundry. YEAH! It is about time. I am off to have a lovely day with the fam.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I haven't posted yet about our day at Matha's Vineyard yet. This entry has been festering in my brain for quite sometime and I need to let it go. As I looked over the names we would be delivering to, I saw the last name of the most toxic relationship I was ever involved in. It is a very unusual name and I was sure it would be someone he was kin to. I was dying a little inside that I might run into him and how awkward that would be. It would not be the first time our paths have crossed, but it would be a time when I would be forced to speak. As we knocked on her door I was filled with all sorts of emotions. When she opened the door and I looked into her eyes, I saw him. This was definitely his mother. She then went on to say something about his company and her working for him. I was very polite, I felt I was seeing something I shouldn't. She had "mental" written on her form and I felt sorry for him to be facing these kinds of things with his Mom.

I have been mulling all of this over in my mind and wondering what am I supposed to do with this experience? Is this supposed to give me a glimpse of where his weakness originated? Do I pity him now? Is God preparing me for something? Is this just a fluke thing? Is this the work of Satan...always reminding- trying to sabotage me? As in many other times in my life I am asking God-what do you want from me? I know he is not a Christian, but I sure don't want to be the one to deliver the message to him. I do not ever wish to speak to this person again. My husband certainly does not ever want me to speak to this person again. So what then? I think getting all this out in writing helps...I want to let it go. I hate when my past visits my present, especially when I am supposed to be doing a good thing. I wanted to teach my children a lesson in service. God may forgive us our trespasses, but the consequences of our sin live on forever. The lives we shatter with our sin live on. Just makes my last post all that much more meaningful to me.
We sang "The Old Rugged Cross" at church last night and it inspired me. It is the phrase "the emblem of suffering and shame" that got me thinking. Everything that God has used for His will has been an emblem of suffering and shame, mostly shame. (Christ born in a manger, dying on a cross, the sinful nature of the people of the Old Testament that were Christ's lineage, etc.) It is a very sobering realization.

I sat there at church filled with shame about my life and where I have been, choices I have made...long ago and as recently as that day. It is through that imperfection that God works. If I were perfect, I could not reach out to people. Often it is the shadows of my own sins that allow me to help someone else out of the reality of their sins. We are all crosses, so to speak, emblems of shame. I am embarrassed by the poor choices I have made, but through the blood of Jesus-I am unblemished. White as snow. I am a vision of perfection to my Heavenly Father because of the blood of Christ. That is a powerful thought! We live in a world that is full of shame. Under that shame is someone who hurts and is hurting. Thank you God for REDEMPTION! Thank you God for your ways that surpass our understanding. Thank you for allowing me, an emblem of shame, to be a part of doing your will on Earth. Let me never forget where I have come from, but thank you God, Let me never forget where I am going either.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

All In A Day's Work

It is so hard to get back on a wagon after you have fallen off!!! I guess the inventors of that phrase knew that. I am doing better today. My splurge-a-thon yesterday will probably do me in as I weigh-in tomorrow. I hope to be strong today and tomorrow.

Mount Washmore is but a small foothill. I am conquering slowly but surely today.

I am also through mounds(literally-unfortunately) of paper clutter as well. It starts off as neat piles, but depending on where I stack them, becomes mounds. I will declutter this year. I will. 2006 is the year for my clutter to be gone!!

Then I will attempt to finish painting. I bought paint long ago and now is the time to actually put it on the walls!! I love to plan and start a good project. I just so don't like finishing them!! Paper clutter here I come!!

Monday, January 02, 2006

I redecorated my blog for the new year...I hope it comes through okay. If it doesn't, it won't be the first time I was cyber-confused!!

Off I go to work on mount washmore-DYSDL!!! (Different Year, Still Doing Laundry)

STNC!! (Some Things Never Change)
We went to the Nashville mall today, Opry Mills. We entered through the Apple Barn and I began to plan my sin. We walked around the mall, had a wonderful meal at the Macaroni Grill (After we walked through the Aquarium restaurant and decided it smelled really bad and we did not wish to eat there.) We hit all our favorite stores...Old Navy, Build A Bear, Osh Kosh, Limited Too, Candy Craze. We commited to playing GLOW GOLF next time we go. We mostly just did a quick walk through as our trip to FORK'S DRUM CLOSET (where Erik bought a new much un-needed but much loved BLACK BEAUTY snare drum) (It kind of evens out the laptop!) lasted a little longer than anticipated. As we were leaving the mall I did it. I said, "Erik will you please go and buy an apple dumpling with ice cream for all of us to share?" Planned sin...the worst kind. I only had a few bites and then some candy when we dropped off Lilly at my mom's to spend the night. And a bite of cake. I am thinking I should go ahead and have a bowl of ice cream since I already blew it today. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

Happy New Year...I hate that my first post of the year is a confession of weakness. I have decided not to "give up" any food again. It brings out the monster in me. My family is glad I had sugar because I was getting a little mean. (even meaner than usual..LOL) I will just strive to eat half as much as I normally do. That should lose me 20-30 lbs and then I can split the amount I eat in half again. I hate diets where you give stuff up...forbidden fruit taste as sweet as an apple dumpling.